Cara Spilsbury
May 10, 2007 06:00 am
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Sunday, May 13, is Mother's Day, the annual event that gives us all a chance to celebrate the moms in our lives that we might sometimes take for granted.
And it seems that in Middleton and Topsfield, many of the mothers could be stunt doubles for Wonder Woman | dynamic women that can and do achieve almost anything.
Three local mothers are sharing the secrets to their parenting success, and also talking about the challenges they have faced. But no matter how different their lives have been, one thing is constant throughout their stories: These women are proud to have someone calling them "Mom."
Susan Gannon, Middleton
Susan Gannon is the executive director of the Middleton Council on Aging, spending her days helping the seniors in her community. Gannon has three children | Sarah, 21, Laura, 17, and Sean, 13 | who all have jam-packed schedules. Although playing the role of mother/taxi for many years proved challenging, Gannon says she wouldn't have it any other way.
Q. What are your Mother's Day traditions?
A. We have breakfast for Mother's Day, birthdays or other celebrations first thing in the morning, with balloons and cupcakes. And then we usually go out to dinner for Mother's Day. We also end up doing some yard work if the weather is nice, and we get together with family.
Q. What's the best part about motherhood?
A. Just seeing how my kids are turning out to be such wonderful people, and very responsible. My daughters both work two jobs each, and my son works, too, helping out a landscaper. They've all been involved in sports, soccer, basketball. Sarah played Division I soccer in college, and Laura is a varsity cheerleader at Masco and part of a championship club that performed at the Orange Bowl. My son just finished his first season wrestling, and he was one of the top scorers, winning 91 percent of his matches. My kids are very close to their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and we have a big cousin party every year that they really look forward to. They've also done a lot of community service, with the Girl Scouts, here at the senior center and through Masco.
Q. What's the most challenging thing about being a mom?
A. Juggling three kids' schedules: sports, Scouts, community service, dance lessons. They all had full schedules, and carpooling was difficult, getting everyone where they needed to be when they needed to be there.
Q. What is some advice you'd offer to other mothers?
A. Talk to your kids, even infants, so they can start associating and socializing. I always read to my kids, and when Sarah was 2 years old she could already point to pictures and say them because she could associate them. And help your kids get really involved. Help them find their interests and work with that. My kids have tried so many activities. Really pay attention to safety seats, and have them in the back seat | in the middle if you can | and facing backwards. Accidents can happen so quickly. And if someone gives you baby equipment (like playpens and cribs that have been in your family) make sure it meets today's standards.
Q. What is something unexpected that you learned?
A. Being a parent can be very rewarding, but it can be frustrating, too, especially when your child is upset about something and you can't solve it for them. Your heart just aches if your child is having a problem that you can't magically fix.
Q. What do you do when you know what's best for your child, but they still want to do the exact opposite?
A. Your years of experience don't impress a young person very much. I think a majority of people my age with kids ... were too good to their children and too protective. (Their kids) have been cocooned so much. You just have to teach them life skills and hope that they can be self-sufficient.
Q. Your thoughts on motherhood in general?
A. Stay in touch with the mothers in your life, the grandmothers, aunts, sisters. Weeks can go by without having contact with relatives. Sometimes elderly people have a lot of free time, and nothing would make their day more than a letter, an e-mail or a phone call from a child. For Christmas, my father doesn't ask for presents, but one thing that he asks for is that each kid writes him a letter telling him about their lives.
Rose David, Topsfield
Rose David is a Topsfield senior citizen who is originally from Reading, Pa. The 75-year-old came to Topsfield in 1998, and currently has an apartment in her daughter's house. Despite often missing her friends and neighbors from Reading, David is glad to be living under the same roof as her grandson, Marc, 17. She also has two stepgrandchildren. She's a retired nurse who know volunteers with the VNA.
Q. How many kids do you have? How old are they?
A. I have two children. Alex David is 46 and he lives in Miami Beach, and Teresa Kalinowsky is 42, and she lives upstairs.
Q. Do you have any Mother's Day traditions?
A. When we lived in Pennsylvania, we always spent it with our children. But now I spend it with my daughter and son-in-law's family, usually.
Q. What's the best part about being a mother?
A. When I first brought my son home, I thought "Geez, now this house is really a home." It sure makes a difference in your world. It was a great feeling putting them in a bassinet, and even waking up in the middle of the night.
Q. What has been the most challenging part of motherhood?
A. Actually, my children were pretty good kids. I always wanted to make sure they had the education to be independent. But I always worried about them if they were out late. My daughter used to joke when my sister would come over and say, "You see where the carpet is all worn out? Mom did that by pacing back and forth by the window." And when your child is sick, it's hard. As a nurse, it made me more upset thinking it could've been much worse.
Q. What is some of the best advice you've ever received?
A. When I was in nursing school and we'd be in the delivery room, the nurse would always say, "Just look, girls. It's a miracle happening right before your eyes."
Q. Did you get any advice from some of the other mothers in your life?
A. Well, my mother died when I was 13, but my older sisters would come help out and tell me to do this and do that. They always told me to make sure the children got enough to eat.
Q. What's something unexpected that you've learned during your years as a mother?
A. It's a joy most of the time, but you still have to discipline your child. They'll try to get away with anything they can and you have to be firm.
Q. What was it like becoming a grandmother?
A. It was great. I was still in Pennsylvania when he was born and I was so anxious to come up and see him. He was so cute and blond. I think I was twice as careful with him (than with my own children) because he was my grandchild.
Q. Is it nice living right downstairs from your daughter and her family?
A. It is, except in the morning it's a little hectic. They're always running up and down the stairs and everybody's slamming doors.
Q. Is there anything else you'd like to add about motherhood?
A. I think it's harder raising children these days. Life was a lot easier back then. It was more calm than it is now. We didn't have the computers and the iPods and all that.
Q. What's the best advice you could give a new mother?
A. Always take care of your child. I know I worry about my kids too much, but you just have to give them a good, healthy lifestyle.
Linda Tirrusa, Middleton
Linda Tirrusa is the co-vice president of student programs for the Middleton PTO and has three children: Nicholas, 9, Victoria, 8, and Sabrina, 3. As a full-time mom, she dedicates much of her scarce free time to bringing fun and educational programs to the Middleton schools so all the young minds in town can benefit.
Q. Is there anything you're looking forward to this Mother's Day?
A. Some free time! That's hard to come by.
Q. Do you have any Mother's Day traditions?
A. Not really. We just always go out with the grandmothers and all the aunts.
Q. What's the best part about being a mother?
A. When they come home from school. And when you realize that some little thing that you taught them has affected them in some small way. We stress that family is the most important. So it's nice to see when, aside from an A paper, they bring home a story they're proud of that they wrote about our family.
Q. What has been the most challenging thing?
A. As they've gotten older, sitting down and eating supper all together. It's starting to get more challenging as their schedules get busier.
Q. Do you have any advice to offer some new moms?
A. Enjoy it while they're little. They grow up so fast.
Q. Did you get any good advice from the other mothers in your life?
A. My mom and other mothers I knew told me the same thing: to enjoy it when my children were young. Everyone used to say that.
Q. What have you learned during your time as a mom?
A. I've learned to take it day by day. There are some things that we just can't control, and we try to teach our children that, too.
Reporter Cara Spilsbury can be reached at 978-946-2230, or by e-mailing cspilsbury@towncrossings.com.
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