By Sue Tabb
March 20, 2008 10:03 am When I think back on my experience taking the SATs, I swear I can actually feel the frenzied state I was in as I was contemplating the potential answers for the definition of the Pythagorean Theorem. The multiple choice approach always mystified me with its intentional ambiguity. Was the answer A? Was it B? Was it A & B but never D? Was it all of the above? None of the above? Some of the above, but only sometimes? It seemed to me that just having a blank to fill in would have been a much kinder, gentler way to go. Simply write in your answer and move on; no need to second guess yourself by looking at the other answers, all of which are suspiciously similar to yours and beckoning you to switch over to their side. Once you get caught in that trap, good luck finishing in the allotted time because you are destined to spend hours filling in ovals, erasing ovals, refilling ovals and finally banging your head against the desk as the time runs out and you realize you never got to the essay, which counts for half your score. I bring this topic up only because both of my daughters will be taking the MCAS tests this month, and neither is even remotely worried about it. I am relieved that their school takes a more relaxed approach to standardized testing than my school did when I was their age. Here's how I remember the tips for preparing for these types of tests (and they are burned in my brain for eternity): r Bring several dozen No. 2 pencils, sharpened and with good erasers r Do not suck on the erasers or you will get black smudge marks that will interfere with scoring r Make sure to spend a lot of time filling in the oval completely, not going outside the lines r Go to the bathroom before the test begins r Most importantly ... you better do well because if you screw this up, you'll have no chance of getting into a decent college or landing a respectable job, furthermore, you'll run the risk of being branded a fool for the rest of your insipid existence. Off you go. Good luck and have fun! That was about it in terms of preparation. Today, the students have the opportunity to prepare with practice runs, hours of training on the testing methods, in-depth reviews of the material that will be covered and sample workbooks so that there are no surprises. It gives me test envy. I say that because I am fairly certain I scored in the bottom 10 percent of my class in terms of SAT scores. This was especially troubling since I was the class valedictorian. (So as not to over impress you, I will qualify that by disclosing that there were a mere 46 people in my graduating class, so the odds were pretty much in my favor.) But I filled in those ovals like no one else could. I was a champion oval filler, and very precise. It just took so darn long that I never finished a single section. That'll drag your score down to the "don't even think about Harvard" level. In fact, I think I was closer to the "just drop out now and save yourself the trouble" tier. Actually, due to some fortunate timing with regard to colleges relaxing their entry requirements, those scores didn't really influence my course all that much. I did graduate from a prestigious college and some might argue that I've done alright for a standardized test flunky. I'm just happy that my kids will never have to know the anguish we were forced to feel as we were led into the examination room, like a prisoner to the chair. My children also take the Terra Nova tests every year, which I think are equivalent to what we called the Iowa tests (although a friend of mine swears they were "Ohio" tests and who am I to argue?). Whatever state they came from, the drill was the same: grab that No. 2, go number 1, and start filling in the ovals. Times up! I have decided not to share my test experiences with my girls — some things are better left unsaid, and who wants to drudge up that lousy memory? By the way, the Pythagorean Theorem defines the relationship of the three sides of a right triangle as: A2 + B2 = C2. A lot of good that does me now.
Sue Tabb writes from her home in Newburyport.
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